General Idea: 'One Missed Call' is yet another J-horror remake that follows the story of a group of friends who all get "horrifying" messages of their last moments alive. Beth (the only survivor of the group) teams up with Detective Jack Andrews (played by Edward Burns) to solve the mystery behind the deadly phone calls before Beth's time is up.
A few months ago, I had written a story about how I was actually looking forward to this movie. I don't know whether I was extremely happy that day, just gotten laid, or possibly drunk out of my mind, because obviously I was not in my right mind when I made that statement. The reason why I say this is because 'One Missed Call' is quite possibly the worst horror remake ever made.
THE GOOD: Unfortunately for me, I missed the only note worthy parts of the film….the previews. Now, let me think if there were any mediocre parts of the film itself to comment on.
8 DAYS LATER…
Okay, I FINALLY thought of something! The beginning of the film did have a creepy vibe to it. The images of the ghosts at first were very daunting. However, the images were completely ruined once the awful CGI was very apparent. (Especially during a scene with a dead baby holding a cell phone!)
The second good point about the film was that it wasn't long at all! It was quite a relief to know that I didn't have 2 missed hours out of my life watching this "Horror for tweens" remake.
THE BAD: Where do I begin? First of all, the acting was atrocious! Usually I wouldn't blame the actors for a poorly written film, but since they all prostituted themselves to be apart of this movie simply for the money, (god knows it wasn't the material) they're at fault too.
Shannyn Sossamon, who is usually solid in her supporting roles in other films, was surprisingly dull in her first theatrical starring role. The poorly CGI designed ghosts had more life than she did.
Edward Burns was obviously there simply to cash in a pay check. (Honestly, if he has to sell out so he can finance one of his films so it doesn't end up going straight to iTunes like his last film, all the power to him!)
It was also a slap in the face to see the great Ray Wise and the once up and coming actress Laura Harring (of ‘Mulholland Drive’ fame) in their small, thankless and “pointless as flavored condoms” roles.
Now back to the “story” at hand. One of the biggest problems with the film was how stupid all, not one, but ALL the characters were. There was not one character I wanted to survive this atrocious horror flick. Seriously, if supernatural forces were leaving messages on your phone regardless of the fact you took the batteries out and broke the phone, would you think going to your phone company to discontinue your service would help? Also, if a dead corpse chased you through a vent, would you be able to go home alone and sleep with your IPOD on full blast? (No, I didn’t think so!)
Although, what really hurt this film was its PG-13 rating. The movie could have been a tad more enjoyable (or just enjoyable period) if we were actually offered truly memorable kills. Instead, we get laughable and unbelievable kills. (i.e. a woman gets killed by a train, yet her corpse is still fully intact. A man gets a pole through his stomach without a trace of blood)
I obviously can go on and on about the faults this movie had, but I think you got the picture.
Overall: ‘One Missed Call’ is a movie that is not worth your ticket money, rental money, or even space on your computer from illegal downloading. I advise you to ‘miss this call’ like you “miss” the calls from a stalker. (Which reminds me, Vahid if you're reading this, LEAVE ME ALONE!) I give this a film a rating of 2 out of 10. (Note: one star was given just for the short running time I was completely grateful for.)