In the world of “dream fights”, without question one of the top most yearned for on screen battles has always been Aliens verses Predators. So along came the first AVP movie a couple of years ago, and to call it a disappointment would be a bit of an understatement. Personally, I still got a bit of a kick out of it (the line about finding Moses’ DVD collection almost made me spit up my pop) but there is no denying that it could have… and SHOULD HAVE been much much better.
When word came out about they studio giving the franchise another shot, I was shocked. Yes the film made over $170 million world wide, but it was so panned by fans and critics I thought they’d just celebrate their money and call it a day. Nope… here comes AvP-R (bloody stupid as hell title). The trailers made it look like it would be a big step up from the previous attempt? Was it? No.
THE GENERAL IDEA
Our old friends the Predators are back. Always looking for the ultimate prey to hunt and challenge themselves against, they seem to have run out of worthy opponents. So instead of just retiring the old cloaking devices, they decided to breed a new kind of prey by crossing their own DNA with that of ALIENS. Something goes horribly wrong and the Predator ship crashing on earth releasing the new PrediAlien onto our unsuspecting world to kill, breed and multiply. The Predator response to this…. send one guy to come fight them. Why not?
Meanwhile, an edgy pizza boy is in love with the high school hottie, but she is dating the evil popular school jock (no, I’m not kidding, I swear to high heaven I wish I was) who bullies him and makes him sad (poor sad pizza boy), but undeterred the pizza boy is committed to winning the hottie’s heart, and surviving the oncoming Alien Apocalypse (aren’t we all).
THE GOOD
The film wastes no time in setting up the situation. Right from the opening credits we see the Predator ship circling around earth with their little PrediAlien experiment. Chaos, the ship crashes, Aliens escape and start the killing… all within the first 3 minutes!!! I’m come to appreciate it when dumb mindless fun flicks just recognize what they are and jump right into it… AVP-R does that.
It was nice to see that AVP-R never took itself too seriously. They filmmakers clearly understood that people weren’t expecting “300″ or “Braveheart” here… they just wanted to see a lot of people and monsters getting ripped the hell up. There were none of the dreaded “life lessons” that plague some other films, no deeper message or purpose… it was essentially an hour and a half of video game nonsense… and for a film like AVP-R, that’s a good thing.
Some of the action was great! As promised by the advanced R rated trailers, there are some gloriously gory and fun shots of guys getting their heads blown, acid burning through unsuspecting flesh… and the movie doesn’t spare children or pregnant women either (I won’t give anything away here… but wow the scene in the hospital was fun!). Yup, it sure seemed like the filmmakers understood what people wanted to see… well… at least in the third act. The first two acts were a waste, which leads us to….
THE BAD
As already mentioned in the opening of this review… THERE IS A PIZZA BOY IN LOVE WITH A HIGH SCHOOL HOTTIE, WHO IS ALREADY DATING THE EVIL POPULAR SCHOOL JOCK!!!! No,,, once again I’m NOT kidding. I had to look around the theater to see if anyone else was about to get up and walk out just for that alone. And of course the big bad boyfriend bullies the pizza boy all while the hottie looks on and feels bad, ultimately (SPOILER) rejecting the jock to get with the loser pizza boy. Good… fricking… grief. For a little while I thought it was some sort of joke.
As expected, the “story” and “dialog” were completely pathetic. Like I said, no one was expecting 300 or Braveheart, but at least pretend to give a shit about the words coming out of these people’s mouths.
For a movie that supposedly understood what people were wanting out of it… a brainless action flick with lots of violence, Alien killing, Predator hunting, people dying a horrible horrible horrible ways… it sure was slow for most of the film. As I mentioned, the movie does jump right into it in the first 5 minutes… but then is pretty much goes to sleep for the next hour. A pizza boy trying to get the hot girl (GAG!!!)… an army mom coming home from a tour of duty trying to win back the affection of her little girl (GAG!!!!)… an ex-con returning to town to try to start over (GAG!!!)… these are the things that make up the majority of the first 2 acts with just the odd transitional scene showing either the Aliens or the Predator.
Ok, now on the level of wanting a dumb, brainless fun action film… I was wanting to see a LOT of Aliens and Predators fighting. However, I was quickly disappointed to see that there was only ONE Predator! COME ON!!!!! Yes we want to see the hapless humans get ripped to shreds… but we’d also like to see some fights where Aliens win certain encounters and rip up a Predator or two as well! Nope… wasn’t going to happen… not with just one Predator. Very disappointing.
OVERALL
If you really want to enjoy Alien Vs Predator - Requiem, just watch the R-rated trailer… because most of (not all) of the best stuff is in there… and the rest of the film is mostly moms connecting with daughters and the pizza boy trying to get the girl. However, AVP-R is not a total waste of a film. There is enough mindless fun in it that you won’t HATE the film (I didn’t hate it), just not enough to be anywhere as good as it could have been. Overall I give AVP-R a 4.5 out of 10.
YOU CAN WATCH THE REVIEW BELOW
User comment: By: Josh KelhofferI do feel that the predator is left in the dust at the end, and I do feel that we leave with AVP-Ultimate-showdown blueball
User comment: By: AlI have not see the movie yet and now I'm not sure if I should. From what I heard from most of the reviews, the storyline suck ass and the human characters are forgettable. Fox needs to give the fans what they want and that is the motherfucking Colonial Marines fighting against the Aliens and the Predator in the future. As for John's criticism of only having one Predator, one can argue it adds to the "badass-ness" of having one Predator taking on multiple Aliens. I read the Predator in this particular movie (refer as Wolf) is suppose to be the ultimate professional with extensive hunting experience so he doesn't need help. It can also be argue that its in the Predator nature or code of honor to hunt alone since there is no sport in having a back-up. BTW John, the video review has no audio.
User comment: By: Darren J SeeleyAs some folks may know, I hated the film. Let me address a few things. 1) I was a bit confused in the opening. It does appear that Scar is on the table, and left unguarded as he was from the end of the first film. Some of it, in fact, is identical. But then I saw Predators carrying the jars and asked 'Where did they get those huggers from?" The Predalien then takes them by surprise...if they mixed alien DNA with thier own, why not keep watch over..? Then I thought for a moment and said to myself, "Who cares, in the beginning of Alien3 we didn't know how the facehuggers got onboard...it was never answered...besides, there might be an explanation...and there seemed to be one. It is a continuation from the previous film. The huggers in the jars are specimens captured around the whaling facility (a guess) but they are used to make a new gadget for the Preds...that blue liquid/Super Alien Acid that will dissolve any dead tissue, so it hides evidence of aliens and/or facehugger victims. It's a nice thing, until the aliens are loose...then the Predy STOPS to cover it up. Again. And Again. That's also why I had a problem with Predy skinning an (unarmed) human victim and hanging him up. Isn't he after some aliens and the PredAlien? (I actually got blasted for this criticism on my little Facebook review) 2) The film is about 86 minutes. It is set up just fine. But with all the cliches, character introductions, poorly written characters- one of whom is named Dallas and another is a loose rewriting of Ripley from Aliens. Why? Also of note, as Gio said, is that these "two" characters return home. The problem I had with naming a character named Dallas is that then I know he cannot die. His desendent will. The characters were, for the most part, badly written. Gio brings up the high school hottie and the evil jock boyfriend and his buddies. Why exactly did they beat up Pizza boy? Because he's doing his job and had a witty comeback? Right then I wanted these guys to die. I didn't care about them. There were cliched and...well, I was sympethic towards the young lass until there is a slight indication that she is also the school slut (Before fans harp on me for that, listen to what her "fired" boyfriend says on how he found her when he was looking for her, then ask, if he's saying it to be mean, or is he saying that because he accurately predicted her behavior?) and the trailer showed her demise. The dopers get a cheap laugh from the audience. The audience also knows something about what happens to the town's Cheech & Chong thanks to the trailer. 3) The third act picks up some pace well. There is one flaw that Gio didn't mention. I think it counts as a spoiler, so let's just say you kind of "know" it wll happen a good twenty five minutes before it happens before the film ends. 4) One Predator! Gone to avenge his friend! 5) Here's something Gio didn't mention: the bad cinematography and the murky Pred vision. If the Pred has that much trouble, why can't he adjust his sight? ****** The problem with leaving the brain at the door: Alien wasn't campy with dumbed down dialog. Aliens wasn't stupid with dumb characters and dialog. Alien3 had some good things about it. Predator had characters who stood out as individuals. Predator 2 let us know the Predator a little more. They were both dumbed down as threats. Look. Take the Aliens and the Predator out of AvP2. Stick in any other creature and it's a Sci-Fi channel reject.
User comment: By: Josh KelhofferWhile i think they dropped the ball with the characters, and the dialogue, and the editing, and the lack of suspense, but everytime the Predators or Aliens were on screen, I was smirking. The music, sound effects, and look of the film were dead on with the notable entries in both franchises. Whats wrong with just one Predator? I had no trouble with that.. I wish they had made AVP take place on LV-426 and had marines as the humans between, you know like the video game
User comment: By: RansomAfter reading this review and many others I am no longer looking forward to this movie. It's too bad becuase I had really high hopes for this one. I just can't believe that they don't have enough sense to put out a quality story along with the great action/SFX. I'm sorry but what the f*ck is wrong with these people? Doesn't anyone care about making good movies anymore?? I know for a fact that I could write a more compelling script that the garbage they puke up. Why they consistently put out movies for the fans that don't appeal to the fans is beyond stupid. /rant
User comment: By: JordanJohn/screenrant.com - Fair enough.
User comment: By: GFunkI agree with your take John. The scenes with the Predator hunting the aliens were fun and made the movie watchable. Also the predator design, compared to the last film, was better and not slow and bulky looking like in the first one which was also a plus. But the human story lines just took you right out of it and made you ask yourself, wtf were they thinking?! It was so laughable at times. Instead of listening and being interested in what they were talking about I kept wondering how much longer till they get back to the predator already! I though the title of the movie was Aliens vs Predator. Not Aliens vs Predator vs Dawson's fucking creek!
User comment: By: RansomJohn, I didn't even finish reading your review before I had to comment about the fact that the "Predalien" was an accident rather than an experiment, but I see that someone has already pointed that out. It's the only logical explanation. Carry on. :P
User comment: By: BobbyJohn, Alright, after I had a little more coffee... I know they were holding there training (ritual) on Earth in the first AVP when I posted the comment... "Why go all the way to Earth to do this" but the Ship in the beginning of AVP:R clearly shows it in orbit and not coming to Earth. Anyway, would love to hear the real interpretation of the movie because it clearly doesn't show this John. Not attacking you... I totally worship this site and your comment really caught me off guard since I never heard that interpretation of AVP:R... :) inquiring minds want to know...!!! :) Thanks a lot and have a great day, ~B PS. Have A Happy New Year!!!
Visit here to subscribe to these commentsUser comment: By: BobbyJohn, I'm sorry to say but whatever the co-directors told you, it sure doesn't show that on the screen or maybe they changed there minds. Think about it... the last scene in the first AVP ends with the Predator on the table with the alien bursting out of his chest. Obviously, this is where AVP:R takes off. There not breeding new prey to hunt??? If they were, why go all the way to Earth to do this??? Wouldn't there home world be the most obvious choice? Why leave the Predator on the table with no one to watch or guard??? And also, the lone Predator was sent to clean up the mess (burning all trace of the evidence with the acid) for know one to find. Of course, he didn't do a good job of it but that was clearly what he was trying to do. He wasn't there to hunt; didn't see him collecting anything other than the weapons from the crashed ship. No trophies (skulls from any killed) or anything to suggest another day at the office. Anything that got in the way of cleaning up the mess he killed but again, cleaning up the mess; was so obvious on screen. You seem to be the Only One seeing it that way but hey, to each his own. I enjoyed it for what it was and it sure was a HELL of a lot BETTER than the first one!!! Thank goodness for that... :) Now, bring on the next chapter!!! Have a great day! ~B
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